Month: January 2015

Trust does not come easily. The adage “once bitten, twice shy” comes to mind. Slowly, over a lifetime, we learn about it. Who is the person upon whom we always rely? Sometimes we misjudge a person, and we are devastated when that trust is shattered.

Trusting God is even more difficult. We can’t see Him – except in His works that are all about us. Actually hearing Him is a greater challenge. While He may speak strongly and directly to some, many of us struggle to know if it is God speaking to us, or instead, our determined free will rearing its insistent head. It is extremely difficult in this technological world to shut out the noise.

Try it for yourself. Shut off the radio, television, CD player, MP3 player, phone. Listen to the silence. You may find it most uncomfortable at first. You will also find that it is not easy to shut off the mental “list making” of things you need to do. Even looking around is often a distraction. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Quiet yourself.

“Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

 Begin paying attention to how your prayers have been, or are being answered – things not readily seen. When you realize that He does indeed answer prayer, and is always there, trust begins. Indeed,

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:10)

 Believe.

Trust.

Grow faith.

It is on Him we rely.

I have never thought of myself as controlling.

Yet…my husband has said that he thinks I am. I will admit that the older I get, the more set in my ways I become. I feel I have (mostly) figured out “who” I am, and what I want, but it is very hard to give up that identity search that has taken me a lifetime to perfect. I do continue to try to hone the person I have become. Does that make me controlling?

I wonder if a controlling person has a more difficult time following biblical advice to trust in the Lord? How do I now stop this behavior that has taken me years to develop, and learn to patiently wait upon the Lord? Just how do I convince myself to NOT proceed toward a goal (in my own possibly hell-bent fashion), instead of stopping…listening…and trying to hear that which He is trying to tell me? How do I learn to long for, pray for, hope for, all of that to happen in His time? How do I listen for His voice? In a sense, how do I now stop being me?

Perhaps that is what Scripture means when it speaks of losing oneself (Matthew 16:25).

Lord God, I would agree that I need Your help. I am often headstrong and determined. Help me to die to my selfish desires, and to desire to live in You. Help me to want – for me – the same things that You want for me. Holy Spirit, open my eyes, and my ears that I might recognize and achieve Your nobler path.