Pain from chronic loneliness does not easily go away. For me, it is especially more difficult throughout the holiday season. Poignant and warm memories flood from the past – and remind me of happy moments and people dear to me. Then I look about me at this often unfeeling and materialistic world, and I am brought coldly back to the reality of the present.
I would like to think that, while I have my low moments, I will always bounce back on my own, but there are times when I become so filled with emotion, that I must find a body to listen to me. Not being someone who opens up to very many, very often, the listener I choose has to be the right one. I also must remember to take the time to consider any response I receive from that listener.
I had just such an experience recently. Feeling my own defenses kicking in from a bout of hurt and anger, my chosen listener helped me to see that I was doing to the person who hurt me, the very same thing – and I hadn’t seen it!
That was one of those “aha” moments.
“And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye,but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” Matthew 7:30
Indeed, God seems at times to have a rather perverse sense of humor. But He also hears us when we pray. I had in fact asked for guidance, and I received it.
“O Lord, Thou has searched me and known me.” Psalm 139:1
I urge anyone who is feeling imprisoned by their demons – whatever they may be – to reach out, especially during the holiday season. Seek out a friend or a counselor. And remember, you are never alone.
The Prisoner's Prayer Book 