I Could Be a Fraud

Have you ever felt like a fake? Do you sometimes feel that you are only going through the motions , with little thought to the meaning behind those actions? Sometimes you just know that there is a “disconnect.”

We all want to do better in some way. We dream of making more money, having a better house, a better job, greater recognition… the list goes on. Always there is something that sounds “better.”  Given the many material temptations we have around us daily, and given all of the technology and bombardment by some form of media that permeate our entire day, it is difficult – if not impossible – to slow down enough to search our souls.

What is of REAL value to you? Happiness? Peace? Simplicity? Oh, but It is so much easier to deal with tangible THINGS! How do you measure happiness or peace or simplicity? And then, how do you escape the rat race long enough to put a plan into action (let alone achieve it)?

I feel like a fraud. I work in a church. I’m surrounded by wonderful people on a daily basis. I frequently attend a prisoner bible study. I attempt to write inspiring things on this blog. From the outside looking in, I seem to be in a very good “place.” One would think I had all the inspiration and peace that I need. Yet, all too often, I find myself feeling that I don’t do them with enough effort. It is very hard to settle oneself to simply get to that place where I am truly honest with myself. How committed am I? How sincere? Do I go that extra mile that I am capable of going, or do I take the easy way out?

Being the best that one can be is a T-A-L-L order.  It requires constant effort and success is often infrequent. I don’t have an answer…I just know that I can be better than I am – and I’m working on it.